Updated: May 22, 2020
For those who weren't at my wedding, I wanted to share one of the sweetest moments for me: the father daughter dance. I would think most of my readers know my dad has been absent for some time now. With that knowledge, my starting statement may bring up some questions for you. Within these next couple of minutes I want to trace through my history to share how we arrived at such a beautiful moment.
Beginning at 10 years old, my heart would ache each time I attended a wedding and watched as the young woman danced with her dad. It was unavoidable. Over time, when I knew that dance was coming, I would intentionally excuse myself until I knew it was done. It was in those moments that I would wonder about my big day. Who would I dance with? Or would I have to cut this part out? You see at this point in time, this dance only exaggerated my "lacking." I couldn't witness it without being reminded of what I felt I didn't have.
To anyone reading this and relating with it in any sort of way. I have one word for you: patience.
Patience because over time, the Lord was healing my heart. There was provision for my needs and for my wants. I was discovering my hopes and dreams. In my patience, the Lord was re-established my foundation. I was firmly planted and the results were stability.
I don't remember the exact moment. But, somewhere during my freshmen year of college I had a realization. I was reflecting on the ways God had provided for me. Each circumstance I thought of began to have a constant theme- 5 different men.
This realization unlocked a mind shift for me. I wasn't without a father. If anything- I was fully covered and overwhelmingly grateful because of it. My heavenly Father had shown Himself through these men countless times.
Overtime this "ah-ha" moment became the answer to the questions I asked as a 10 year old. Instead of a bleak dance that would highlight sadness, my father-daughter dance would put the goodness of God on display. Together, the Lord and I began to weave together this moment. What was so precious about this is it happened long before I even knew who I was going to marry. Which meant by the time I met Jackson and by the time he proposed I didn't have to stress about what I would do. I was able to celebrate and look forward to our big day. There wasn't room for worry.
Then, on July 7th, 2018 probably around 8pm and 4 years after my realization... I watched as my new vision for this moment came to life. Jackson and I already had our first dance. Toasts had been made. And I was called to the middle of the dance floor. "We Dance," by Steffany Gretzinger began to play and I was met first by Coby. Then my uncle cut in, then Robbie, to Fred and lastly Christian. It's a moment that brings me to tears while I sit here and replay it. As we moved across the dance floor, I was able to thank each man that stepped in. I don't know if i'll ever be able to fully express my gratitude, but it runs deep. I also hope the Lord felt honored at this time. It was my way of telling Him, "I see what you did here and I am so thankful."
Looking back, I can see the Lord was constantly working in every moment of my life. Planning my steps and healing my heart. He knew what my wedding day would look like and He knew it would embody abundance.
To Coby, Christian, Uncle Harry, Fred and Robbie- thank you. Thank you for being the hands and feet of the Father. Thank you for being vessels the Lord used to fill in gaps in my life. Each of you were a covering over me. Thank you for every tire you've changed, opportunity provided, all of the advice you've given and the list goes on. Thank you for dancing with me on my wedding day.
Coby specifically- thank you. For protecting me and loving me. For caring for our house over the years. For being the best brother a girl could ask for. For playing football with me through my tomboy stages. For listening to me when I would vent about different emotions and feelings. For your tender heart and desire to serve. You've taught me so many things through the years.
To the wives and daughters of Harry, Fred and Robbie- thank you. Thank you for sharing your husbands and fathers with me so I could have this sweet and redemptive dance. The enemy tried to steal this from me long ago, but through your grace to share, it was an abundant picture of God's response to the enemy's thief-like patterns.
To my husband of 2 months- thank you. Thank you for choosing me and for now being my covering that I get to walk through life with. You are the answer to my waiting and the reward for my patience.
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